Should i leave?

If you don't love your husband in that way and you see him as your best friend then you can't stay with him. If you can still have a good relationship then it shouldnt affect your kids. You need to be honest with him and yourself. Does this other guy feel the same about you or is he in it for the sex? You come with a package and while it's fun now cos it's all sneaky what happens when it's not?

I know it may be hard but maybe try and fall in love with your husband again. If the sex is great & he's being good around the house. I think you should give it a few more months because this will deeply affect your children & they will blame you because you had the affair as horrible as it sounds.

It's rare to find a man who will fight for you and forgive you! Try different things to see if any love sparks happen example have a date night once a week, do an activity together, see if he will start texting you now little notes, go for a coffee, have a mini break & try & have a break from your new man during this.

Then if there's still nothing go from there.

Best of luck x

You owe your husband honesty and you also owe him the opportunity to find someone that deserves him.

You can co-parent but it starts with honesty

Is the new guy just an exciting forbidden thing in your life right now.

He giving you the attention you crave that you've not been getting from your husband.

Once you split with your husband and turn what you have with the new guy in to a proper relationship will the excitement still be there or will it become just a bog standard relationship and I get the impression you're not that kind of person you'd get bored with that.

Leave. What your doing is wrong. You have your reasons. If you don't love him no more or find him attractive give him a chance to find someone who does. Let him find his happiness. Affairs destroys people. My partner cheated and it has broken me and done damage I never thought possible. I understand that it'd not always just as simple as a quick fumble and there are other reasons why it happens. But carrying on while he thinks you are trying to repair a relationship, and he is trying to trust you again is not fair. You are ultimately lying to the children too (although I don't expect you to tell them).

Go find your happiness and let him find his. But don't carry on lying. Staying together for the children is not always the best decision IMO.

I totally get where you are coming from and totally get your reasons for why you are having the affair

I did the same …..

for years ….

my (now ex) husband knew … infact he encouraged it - I now see this as abuse .. he starved me of affection .. of sex .. I also tried the sexy underwear.. the numerous weekends away

the lack of sex was his issue .. something he needed to work on - but it messed up my self esteem

I had a long with standing affair with my then Boss

like you … the chemistry was amazing etc …

he was also married and filled my head with the usual rubbish - but I’m sorry … THEY NEVER LEAVE

i chose to end my marriage .. even though I was abused mentally and financially, what I was doing was wrong and I needed space from all the men .. so I could make the right choice ..

My ex husband and I co parent but he is single … and still has problems with his own issues- but at least I don’t carry them any more

I no longer think I was the issue and I closed massive doors and the men I had affairs with are STILL WITH their wives … I’m not bitter enough to these their lives apart .. no doubt they will still be playing those games I’m sure

you owe it to yourself .. the kids and him to be honest

get out and find you again .. drop me a private message if you want some support … here for you

Stop it right now !! How would you feel if he was cheating on you ? How are your kids going to feel when they find out (and they will) that mummy has been sleeping with someone else . If you aren't happy then leave !! You are hurting your "bestfriend" and your children. You sound very selfish. No one forced you into a relationship, you went into it willingly. People like you make me sick . Grow up and take some responsibility for the mess you've made !

By cannot stay away from him I assume you mean will not? If he is apparently your best friend then would that not take priority over continuing to cheat on him? Given that there are kids involved too you should give counselling with your husband some time.

Hi there,

My thoughts are that it's too little too late unfortunately from your husband.

You've had decades of begging him for some kind of real intimacy and respect for you as a female as well as a human being- and his 'attentiveness' now just proves that he is capable of exactly that, but that your tears before and efforts to put yourself out there to him meant nothing.

That's why he would completely ignore you when you expressed your needs.

Once you are used and treated like that and try for years it's simply impossible to get that attraction back for us. But I understand how hard it is when then then cry and try, after essentially forcing you to feel that way in the first place!

Even if this other guy didn't exist and you were just looking for passion elsewhere- would you really be able to stay with your husband? It really doesn't sound like it.

And that is unfair on him. Yes it's hard for children, but just keep telling them that you do love and respect their daddy as a dear friend, but you are not IN love with him.

Keep it nice and don't rise to his nasty outbursts (trust me, no matter how friendly you are this will happen at some point), and just be laser-focused on talking about the kids well-being and contact and if he really is a great dad, then he will continue to be and more.

Best of luck darling xx

kool advice.. me too feel it’s not going to end well.. once your husband realises you’re with him again he,ll go bk to his old days! Sorry for the negativity