Why all these headlines about kids’ development are NOT helping parents
Charlie Bond
Netmums contributorFrom kids' growth being stunted to their intelligence being based on their weight, haven’t parents got enough to worry about? Writes Charlie Bond
When I was in the throes of newborn madness and stressing about everything from the amount of milk my baby was having to whether he was too hot or cold at night, I remember saying to my mum ‘I just can’t wait to be out of this stage so I won’t worry so much’ and my mum delivered the devastating news ‘that will never happen!'
'You never stop worrying about your kids, no matter how old they are,’ she advised.
Unfortunately, like with most things, my mum turned out to be right. Mother knows best!
What worried me in the newborn stages of parenting has now been replaced with other concerns, like whether my toddler's teeth are still attached after running into yet another wall, or whether it’s normal to insist on cuddling the potty before bed.
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Adding to mum guilt is unhelpful
As parents, we’re naturally going to be concerned about our kids, which is why things that add to the levels of mum guilt we feel are really unhelpful.
Recently, there’s been a number of different studies published, all causing us parents to worry.
Most recently news of studies which focus on the correlation between a child’s development and their height or weight have hit the headlines.
A study published this week by British researchers found that kids being ‘short for their age’ can affect their brain and school grades, claiming ‘children with stunted growth showed lower activity in parts of the brain linked to attention and memory at 6 and 9 months’.
The report went on to say that ‘stunted infants showed a very different pattern suggesting that they were quite distractible.’
This kind of study, while no doubt important scientific research, serves to stress parents out – suddenly you’re looking at your 6 month old’s height chart and wondering if they’re too easily distracted.
Should they be more focused on the toy in front of them?
Birth weights and child's IQ
Another report this week claimed that ‘a baby’s birth weight could help predict the child's future IQ'.
It found that babies whose birth weight is very low are more likely to have some developmental problems when they are measured at 5 years of age.
The study specifically looked at babies who were born prematurely, and investigated whether the relative birth weight (weight in conjunction with the length of pregnancy) is a better predictor of later cognitive performance.
As a mum of a baby born prematurely, this study was particularly hard to read – 1 of the things you worry about the most when your baby is born early is about their future development, so headlines like this can feel especially distressing.
The report in the end found that while relative birth weight and gestational age may influence childhood development, there were many other factors, such as parent-child relationship, that help to shape the development of a child. So in other words, there might be absolutely nothing to worry about. Great.
Headlines are leaving mums feeling triggered
These studies come after a report claimed that ‘breastfed babies are more likely to achieve A-grade GCSE’s’.
The study, of 5,000 children by the University of Oxford, found that children breastfed for at least a year were 38% more likely to get a high pass (A or A*) in their English GCSE exam, compared to children who were not breastfed.
These children were 39% more likely to get the same top grade in the maths GCSE.
At the time, this research caused quite a stir, and it became a hot discussion point between mum friends too, with those who hadn’t breastfed left feeling especially triggered by the headlines, and worrying that they had somehow failed their children.
The way these reports are framed needs to change
Of course, I’m not saying that this type of research isn’t important, but the way it’s framed needs to change.
Some things, like babies being born early, are out of a parent’s control, so why are we being made to feel like we’ve failed?
Being told by a paediatrician that your child’s development may be delayed is 1 thing, but a headline you read before bed and then spiral into anxiety about your baby’s wellbeing is another.
As someone who’s spent 2 years worrying about my child’s development, who struggled with breastfeeding and who works in the media so knows how these headlines work, I still find them triggering, so I can’t help but feel for other mums who might see these statements and feel really upset and worried by them.
Let’s just stop with all these shaming reports shall we?
Unless someone finds a study about why mums drinking wine has as many health benefits as drinking water, in which case, that’s something I definitely want to read.
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